Has any of this happened to you?

Your boss ends your Monday with a stack of papers and instructions that you must submit this report in the next 48 hours or else…

Your significant other doesn’t answer your calls when you need to get a hold of them the most

Your mother sends you Guilt-Tripping messages that you don’t come and visit enough

Your landlord Completely ignores you when you tell her that part of the ceiling is leaking in your apartment

Your credit card bill is getting HUGE and is taking over in your dreams

At this point your probably starting to feel a throbbing pain in your temples like your head is about to explode.

EASY does it.

You certainly don’t want that to happen now do you?

Sit down and take a deep breath, close your eyes, relax and unravel your inner thoughts.

Sometimes, when taking control over a chaotic life, a stressful situation, a physical ailment or an emotional dilemma, it will usually start within you – your mind, and specifically, your “Subconscious”.

Communicating with your subconscious doesn’t have to be seen as being difficult.

Negotiating with your own self(Yes, I know it sounds kind of crazy, but hear me out) can be ‘achieved’ through a form of mind control called “Self-Hypnosis”.

Some of you reading this article right now may of heard of this practice and know How To do it, but for those of you who don’t here’s a sample of this basic procedure in 7 easy to follow steps.

Step #1. Find a venue conducive for relaxation.

Find a quite room, with a comfortable temperature and set the lights just right (not too dim, not too bright).

Then… light a candle and incense if you desire.

Step #2. Surround yourself with sound pleasant to your ears.

Play some relaxing music. Bring in a portable fountain. Hang some chimes where the breeze blows.

WHY?

Because the sound of music is soothing.

Step #3. Find a comfortable position.

Surround yourself with the things that make you feel the most comfortable. For example, your pillows, blankets, your favorite pair if joggers, whatever you like.

A caring, healing sensation always eases stress.

Step #4. Tell yourself this.

I am light, I am comfortable, I am at ease with myself.

All my tensions, worries and anxieties are gone.

I am light, I am comfortable, I am at ease with myself.

(Repeat many times while breathing deeply and with your eyes closed.)

Step #5. Picture what you want your life to be.

Visualize every detail, every situation that you want to happen.

Imagine it So… as if it is really happening at this moment.

Step #6. Repeat step #4.

Breathe in, breathe out. Now… imagine yourself being surrounded by a bright, luminous light starting from your forehead until it fills the whole room.

Step #7. Wake Up!

Simply wake up when you’re ready and feel refreshed.

Repeat this procedure regularly as needed.

This exercise simply helps you clear your thoughts.

It may also lead you to Self-Revelations that will help you assess the situation on How you want to live your dreams.

It may or may not work, your goal may or may not be achieved – the universe has reasons humans may not fathom.

The important thing here is this: “Self-Hypnosis” will help you become a better, calmer person that’s More attuned to themselves, and more willing to help others.

With ALL your tensions and worries away, who knows what you may accomplish in the coming Days, Weeks, Months and Years that lie ahead.

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I had just spent an hour with my trainer Rusty lifting weights, run 35 minutes on the treadmill, taken my Dalmatian Lucy for a vigorous 40-minute walk, and then driven to the YMCA for an hour-long stretch class. Exhausted, I had to ask why exercise was ruling my life.

I feel better when I exercise, I rationalized. Taking a deep breath, I delved deeper and as I did, I began to see that my obsession with exercise was rooted more in vanity than any health benefits I hoped to receive. I had to admit that the primary reason I work out is to look good. The way I view my body determines in good part my self-esteem.

Self-esteem is the sum total of how much we like and approve of our self-concept; Webster’s Dictionary defines it simply as “self-respect.” In America these days, how much we respect ourselves may hinge in large part on how we look. Some psychologists claim most people’s body image is so bad that having a bad body image is “normal.” According to the American Psychological Association, 30 to 40 percent of Americans are somewhat unhappy with their appearance, and another 45 percent may experience anxiety or depression because they dislike their appearance.

In an era of gender equality, Americans’ obsession with body image is almost equally divided among the sexes. One body-image study found that 55 percent of all women were dissatisfied with their physiques, followed closely by men at 45 percent.

So how can we feel better about our bodies and bolster our sagging self-esteem? I went to the Internet for answers and my research yielded these five suggestions.

ONE: Quit dissecting your body. People generally look at some small part of the body they don’t like and stake everything on it. Instead of fixating on a flaw, take several steps back, squint your eyes and peer through your lashes. Look at yourself the way the world does, through a soft focus. The world sees the whole you, not just one feature. Love the whole you.

Some makeup artists tell their clients not to look at themselves too closely in the mirror. They explain that no one else views us as critically as we view ourselves. No one stares at the blemish on our cheek or the line in our forehead like we do. Instead, they admire the big picture; they admire all of us—mind, body and spirit.

TWO: Focus on presence, not perfection. Do you remember those girls and guys in high school who were popular but not pretty? Chances are they had presence. Presence is far more attractive to both sexes than physical beauty. After all, physical beauty is relative.

THREE: Accentuate the positive. You can probably name those aspects of yourself that you dislike, but can you name those features about yourself you admire? Maybe you have shiny, healthy hair, or clear, supple skin. Whatever your favorite features are, play them up. Get a manicure or give your hair a deep conditioning treatment. Dress up your self-esteem by taking care of your appearance. Wear clothes that fit and make you feel good about your body.

Speak lovingly and positively to yourself and fight negative mind talk by complimenting yourself. Look for the good and praise it.

FOUR: Befriend your body. Instead of torturing your body by dieting and exercise, pamper it. Get a massage, take a hot bath, go dancing, and indulge in your favorite foods from time to time (it will help prevent binging). Get into your body and enjoy it for the wonderful machine it is.

FIVE: Focus on who you are, not how you look. Acknowledge the whole you and not just your body. What are your talents, gifts and dreams? Think of all the lives you have touched. Create a feel-good box. Find a box or basket (I have a file) and every time someone gives you a compliment write it down on a piece of paper and drop it in. My file includes notes of appreciation as well as gift cards. And when I am feeling blue, I revisit it.

As I thought more about my body image, I came to realize that for the most part I like my body. Looking around me, most people I know don’t look like the models on the covers of Vogue and Men’s Health. They are real people like me. I have been working out not for me, but for an ideal that I can never, and really don’t want to, meet.

Like most things in life, I have come to realize that the motivation for working out is as important as the act itself. I want to work out for me, because of the way it makes me feel, not to gain other people’s admiration. Learning to do things for ourselves may be the surest way to bolster our self-esteem.

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